Sign-wavings, vigils scheduled throughout Big Island for Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Alexus Fernandez still grieves the loss of her sister Elizabeth who was found dead in her Kealakekua home on New Year’s Day, shot by her ex-boyfriend.

“Thinking of her just makes me weep,” Fernandez said Tuesday. “I don’t have my sister and there’s nothing I can do to change that. All I can do is bring awareness.”

And that’s just what she is doing.

Fernandez, who works with houseless individuals at the nonprofit Hope Services, will be attending a walk and vigil in Kona on Friday for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The event at St. Michael’s Church on Ali‘i Drive is one of several taking place islandwide. The goal is to help shed light on a problem that impacts 1 in 5 people throughout the state, according to a study by the Hawai‘i State Coalition Against Domestic Violence that was released in June.

These events are coordinated by the nonprofit Child and Family Service through the Hawai’i County Family Violence Interagency Committee, which encompasses various community partners.

Christine Fliniau, director of East Hawai‘i programs for Child and Family Service, said there will be a sign-waving every week in Hilo to also raise awareness about the services available, including a shelter in East Hawai’i and another shelter on the westside.

One of those events was held Tuesday along Kīlauea Avenue, with purple ribbons tied along a fence to signify each domestic violence survivor and their families that the nonprofit has served in East Hawai‘i this year.

The hope is to show survivors they are not alone and that resources are available when they’re ready to leave volatile living situations.

The nonprofit has served 2,412 people with its Hilo-based domestic violence programs in fiscal year 2024. According to the organization, those needing domestic violence services from Child and Family Services in East Hawai‘i have increased annually from 2,123 in fiscal year 2022 and 2,343 in fiscal year 2023.

“When you think about fleeing with just the clothes on their back, they accomplish so much in a short amount of time,” Fliniau said. “That safe environment allows them to do what they need to do. … In a domestic violence situation, they’re just trying to survive the day.”

Fliniau said victims also face isolation from family and financial abuse.

“When you look at the prevalence of domestic violence and the prevalence of the problem, it’s a huge public health issue,” Fliniau said.

But it’s hard for many victims to leave their bad situations.

“For many victims, their self-esteem is eroded,” Fliniau said. “They don’t trust their own perceptions. They don’t think they can be successful because that’s what they’ve been told over and over.”

As they start to eat and sleep and gain connection with fellow survivors and resources in a safe environment, victims of domestic violence can start to hope that things can be different.

But Fliniau said there also is a lot of shame and stigma to overcome.

“The question is not ‘why did they go back’ but ‘why did the abuse start,'” Fliniau said.

One of the latest programs, Ka Lā Hiki Ola (Dawning of a New Day), is a self-referral program that addresses the needs of the survivors and their children after the immediate crisis has passed. In working with a technical advisor and an evaluator, the experts work to help families heal and strengthen the bond between the children and their parent.

Survivors meet with a counselor and evaluate their strengths, needs, the history of domestic violence and understanding of the abuse.

Along with the 24-hour shelters and programs, Child and Family Service has domestic violence hotlines: 808-959-8864 for East Hawai‘i and 808-322-7233 for West Hawai‘i.

East Hawai’i will hold its own domestic violence awareness walk and vigil on Oct. 25. Those interested in attending can meet at the King Kamehameha Statue where they will walk to the old county building for the vigil. The event runs from 4-6 p.m.

Fernandez believes sign-wavings are important. She would take to the street every day for her sister if she could.

As the anniversary of her sister’s death approaches, Fernandez said she spends more time with her family.

Visit Child and Family Service for a list of programs and resources for domestic violence survivors.